For the last few months I have been wildly uninspired. I’m not talking about a creative funk — I mean SERIOUSLY uninspired. Barely able to get out of bed in the morning. Seeing my art as a job instead of a passion. Not getting excited about new outfits or potential collaborations. I found myself in a toxic cycle of comparison and telling myself that I wasn’t good enough for my job since the passion was gone.
I know that at some point we all go through this. Even people who love their careers find themselves questioning their love for it when they've had a bad day. But for me? Three months with no natural creativity? Having to force art when before an idea would strike and I would jump head first? Sounds crazy. To me, it was crazy.
So what did I do? What was my breaking point? When did I come to the realization that this is just a bad day, not a bad life. How was I able to push aside all the fears and anxieties? Tap "read more" to find out.
Above I mention the quote, "It is just a bad day, not a bad life." Literally today those words came to mind as I started thinking about this phase in my life. Although this "day" was actually months long, the quote still had the same meaning in my head. I've always been the optimist of the group. Sunny side up. Always reminding others that this is just "life" and "better things are always coming." My enneagram type 7 literally calls me The Enthusiast.
We have named this type seven personality, The Enthusiast because Sevens are enthusiastic about almost everything that catches their attention. They approach life with curiosity, optimism, and a sense of adventure, like “kids in a candy store” who look at the world in wide-eyed, rapt anticipation of all the good things they are about to experience. They are bold and vivacious, pursuing what they want in life with a cheerful determination.
So with personality test results calling me "the positive one," how exactly am I supposed to just "cope" with depression lingering over me like a dark cloud. My anxiety taller than the Empire State Building, and my comparison issues crippling me to the point where I am unable to even do a post on instagram without wanting to immediately delete it. Heres the deal. I came to the realization in the shower this morning this statement:
"The world needs what you have to offer."
It is such a simple sentence. So much power. We were all individually created with passions, love, talents, abilities, ideas, visions -- All unique to us. To our stories. We are all capable of creating beautiful art, it's all in us. It is already inside of us. We must believe that we can achieve it.
Our minds are the only thing stopping us.
Now I know... Even though that is truth, it still is not tactical tips to help you in every day life.
So here is the deal. This is what you need to know:
Lastly, do your art. This one is the one I've dreaded talking about simply because there is fine line after healing your heart that one is able to jump back into creativity without it feeling like the end of the world. For me, it was getting back in front of the camera. Constantly comparing myself to women on instagram who had rapid growth in their followers, and yet I felt like I was doing everything I could to gain more. I never felt like my content was good enough. Instagram turned into a numbers game instead of a digital scrapbook where I shared my life, my clothes, and the world around me. This afternoon, I did my first photoshoot in what feels like 3 months. I got dressed, I played music I loved, I encouraged myself to be creative and feel the shoot instead of just taking photos. It took a while for me to mentally allow myself to get back in front of the camera, but once I did I got the overwhelming excitement of "getting the shot" just like I did the first time.
I know that at the end of the day, this is all easier said than done. This feeling of "not good enough" on a social media platform is real. It happens. To all people of all ages. I hope that as you read this blog post you find reassurance that its not just you. You are seen and heard and there is always better days coming. Speak it into existence for yourself. Manifest it. Your life is fully up to you and you will make it beautiful. I am sure of it.